Listening in

anon: i guess the bottom line is that I have alot to learn about being part of a church
uncaBrian: i don’t know if this is the same for you
uncaBrian: but i think that it’d be hard for me if i came from [another christian org.] where i was among the “elders” and then to come into a church context where i’m “just” a member
anon: yea… i’m starting to feel it
uncaBrian: b/c, at hoc6, i’m still part of the “elders”
uncaBrian: in fact moreso than at [another christian org.]
uncaBrian: so if one of our members said the same stuff i say about our church or our ministries, i can see how that can be taken weirdly
anon: yea, that’s true
uncaBrian: sorry, i’m doing too much analysis
anon: i think you are right though
anon: i’m not an elder or pastor or anything like that
anon: so i should… be quiet.
uncaBrian: hahaha
uncaBrian: wait
uncaBrian: i don’t think i was supposed to laugh
anon: it’s ok.. i’m used to you laugh AT me
anon: i have no shame now
uncaBrian: well, as someone told me, when you know you shouldn’t say it to others, pray it to God
anon: hahaha
anon: i don’t know about that
uncaBrian: actually, when i first came to [another christian org.]
uncaBrian: man, i was really bad
uncaBrian: b/c at my home church
uncaBrian: i was “the man”
uncaBrian: but now i was nobody
uncaBrian: so i totally, in my heart, criticized everything
uncaBrian: (this is totally diff from your situation btw, b/c you were at ____ church even in college, right?)
uncaBrian: but God totally convicted me about my heart
uncaBrian: man, if you want to talk about a complaining spirit
uncaBrian: i had a complaining demon!
uncaBrian: but he told me that i need to pray for the leaders
uncaBrian: instead of criticizing them
uncaBrian: or giving them “helpful feedback”
anon: yea, that situation perhaps isn’t too far from mine
uncaBrian: no, but i had DEMON!
anon: oh gosh
anon: it was that bad
uncaBrian: well, i mean, even though i was prob more mature than most
uncaBrian: i still had pride that needed to be dealt with
anon: yea… i guess so
anon: “more mature than most”
anon: mr modest
uncaBrian: well, hey
uncaBrian: i only report what others tell me…hehehe
anon: you are mature… now don’t let that go to your head!
uncaBrian: and i would never call my self mr. modest, though
anon: i do feel that sometimes i wish things were alittle different at ______ church
anon: voicing it is complaining
anon: do something about it is call ministry
anon: praying about it is called being a warrior
uncaBrian: you know…this is all very exciting
uncaBrian: this personal excavation
anon: but.
anon: ?
uncaBrian: well, it’s painful
uncaBrian: but it feels very spirit-filled
uncaBrian: like the Word cuts us
anon: yea it does
uncaBrian: that darn double-edged sword
anon: but it’s our compass
uncaBrian: hebrews says that it is alive and well
uncaBrian: and the past 30 min
uncaBrian: i felt that in me
anon: and we have to rely on it even when it isn’t what we want to hear
anon: felt that?
uncaBrian: well, p. just preached this sunday
uncaBrian: that we don’t just study the Word
uncaBrian: but the Word studies us
anon: go p.
anon: i mean go God
uncaBrian: haha
uncaBrian: even though i wasn’t reading the word
uncaBrian: the spirit of the word was studying me
uncaBrian: even as an “elder”
anon: ooo that’s deep.
anon: i like that
uncaBrian: i think i still need to watch for a critical spirit
uncaBrian: i can get away with it much more easily
uncaBrian: which is not necessarily good
anon: i think it’s easy to justify
anon: but it sucks to realize that you are doing something that you don’t mean to do
uncaBrian: yeah
anon: ok, i’m going to bed!
anon: thanks for the chat.
anon: glad we are buddies
anon: it’s nice to get an honest outsiders perspective.
anon: thanks!
anon: good night
uncaBrian: goodnight
uncaBrian: and thanks for calling me an outsider
anon: ummm….
anon: i should keep my mouth shut


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