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People Pleaser


Am I a people pleaser?


I just came back from guest speaking at a church.  Most people that spoke to me had a very positive response.  Some people went out of their way to tell me how they were blessed…that was very encouraging.


But there was this one person who just totally freaked me out.  The entire time that I was speaking s/he was just giving me the eye, thumbing through Scripture, taking notes…I felt like I was being watched.  I mean, on one hand, I don’t want to make too big a fuss about it, because the Bereans were commended for not even letting Paul away without jiving with Scripture.  But, on the other hand, I felt like s/he was looking take me down, as if I was some sort of false prophet or something.  It was weird.


So, amidst this sea of compliments, I have this one person who, during a later discussion, pretty much tore apart my entire message.  Wonderful.


So I’m here, kinda bothered by this person.  I’d heard stuff about him/her before, and it was all very positive…I had nothing but respect.  But this was really weird…eerie.


So I’m wondering if I’m bothered because I can’t take it that someone doesn’t like me and wants to dismantle me…or if it’s just plain old weird to feel treated like a false prophet at church.  Maybe both?


On a related note, I preached a really inflamatory sermon last Sunday, about how the Kingdom of God is incompatible with the American Dream.  I didn’t realize until I was preaching that I had directly addressed a specific situation that one of our members was going through.  Despite many encouraging words after my sermon, I was really bothered that this person might have thought that I called his/her situation out.  So a few days ago, I called him/her to make sure that s/he didn’t think I was calling him/her out.  I mentioned that I still intended to challenge his/her situation, but that I wasn’t preaching an individualized sermon.  S/he said there was no such misunderstanding…all was well.  Again, did I do this out of genuine concern for his/her faith, or was afraid that this person wouldn’t like me?  Maybe both?


Very inconclusive.

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5 thoughts on “

  1. hmm, i think in most cases i’ve witness is the opposite. many pastors i feel are people pleasers in ways that they tarnish the truth of the Lord because they fear offending their congregation. truth is offensive, and yes there are ways to deliver it which are preferable than others… but still, i feel the advantage of not being a pastor is that i am not dependant of the validation of the congregation when i speak, since i am not under the salary pay of the congregation. perhaps that’s why i’m still unwilling to commit to seminary… because it all seems too political than genuinely truthful.

  2. Hey Blung, It’s normal to feel a bit uneasy when we are under the microscope, and I’m not denying that there’s no bit of “people pleasing” in a lot of us (myself included). But I know you’ll keep preaching truth so long as His grace is leading. You know He will. Be inflammatory…and live the life to back up what you preach. This is the best way to be an example to the flock He’s allotted to your care. btw, I do agree wholeheartedly that living the Kingdom of Heaven means to forever kill the American Dream. Rock on by His hand!!!!

  3. Anonymous says:

    mmm.. I do find it slightly ironic that you parted AWAY from HOC3, only to preach there about community after creating HOC6.
    But that’s the strangeness of human nature I guess.

  4. Thoughtful blog.  From one people-pleaser to another: when we stop caring about what people think, we’re not in a good place.  But when the passions of God overtake us, sometimes we can’t worry what people think.  However our motivations work out, He does good things with us, however we screw things up.

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