Am I a people pleaser?
I just came back from guest speaking at a church. Most people that spoke to me had a very positive response. Some people went out of their way to tell me how they were blessed…that was very encouraging.
But there was this one person who just totally freaked me out. The entire time that I was speaking s/he was just giving me the eye, thumbing through Scripture, taking notes…I felt like I was being watched. I mean, on one hand, I don’t want to make too big a fuss about it, because the Bereans were commended for not even letting Paul away without jiving with Scripture. But, on the other hand, I felt like s/he was looking take me down, as if I was some sort of false prophet or something. It was weird.
So, amidst this sea of compliments, I have this one person who, during a later discussion, pretty much tore apart my entire message. Wonderful.
So I’m here, kinda bothered by this person. I’d heard stuff about him/her before, and it was all very positive…I had nothing but respect. But this was really weird…eerie.
So I’m wondering if I’m bothered because I can’t take it that someone doesn’t like me and wants to dismantle me…or if it’s just plain old weird to feel treated like a false prophet at church. Maybe both?
On a related note, I preached a really inflamatory sermon last Sunday, about how the Kingdom of God is incompatible with the American Dream. I didn’t realize until I was preaching that I had directly addressed a specific situation that one of our members was going through. Despite many encouraging words after my sermon, I was really bothered that this person might have thought that I called his/her situation out. So a few days ago, I called him/her to make sure that s/he didn’t think I was calling him/her out. I mentioned that I still intended to challenge his/her situation, but that I wasn’t preaching an individualized sermon. S/he said there was no such misunderstanding…all was well. Again, did I do this out of genuine concern for his/her faith, or was afraid that this person wouldn’t like me? Maybe both?